One Second Then One Minute
by turnitintolove
Summary: I died once.  Luckily it didn't last long, but it still happened.  I guess the weird part is that I can still remember it.


I died once. Luckily it didn't last long, but it still happened. I guess the weird part is that I can still remember it. Parts of it had to be filled in by other people, but nonetheless, it still happened.

Robbery gone wrong. That was how the police officer talked about it. Some kid who was too shaky and jumpy to be holding a 9mm. It really looked like it was too big for his hand, almost like it was burning an imprint into his sweaty palm. This part is always a blur, but she remembers it. I can see it in her eyes sometimes. She loses herself in the memory when she watches me at the sink or talking on the phone. She was on the ground, trying to breathe after a swift kick to the stomach, her eyes wide with fear as the kid waved the gun around. The adrenaline pumping though my body made the shots sound like pops, like the sound of those nerf darts we used to chase each other with when we were kids, not much younger that this kid. Two pops, and I was on the ground.

"_Shhh, baby, don't move."_ She sounded ragged, still trying to fill her lungs with air. _"Oh my god."_ She took her coat off to try and stop the bleeding in my abdomen and shoulder. But it was flowing at such a steady pace, dyeing the white snow with my life. _"I can hear sirens, don't close your eyes. Look at me. OK? You need to look at me. I need you to stay with me. You understand me? There's too much we haven't done yet. So stay with me." _ Her last words were a command. I was not to leave her, under any circumstance.

The whole ride to the hospital I could feel her hand holding mine. She was warm, almost too warm. Like the blood pumping through her veins was on fire. I could feel myself getting colder as I was being pulled towards darkness. But every time my eyelids fluttered, that last command would slip through her lips. _ "Stay with me."_

She had stayed so calm the entire time. Her pre-law classes had taught her to keep a level head in a tough situation. She was calm until I was wheeled away from her. Brought into a trauma room, like the ones we see on TV every week. She stood outside, watching though the open blinds as doctors and nurses tried to put me back together. That's when my heart stopped. The unmistakable flat tone ringing though the busy hospital. It cut though the cold December air pouring through the doors. She screamed. Something so raw and animalistic, the officer standing next to her could only wrap his arms around her to keep her from crumpling to the ground.

I hate to tell you, but there wasn't any blinding white light. No singing angels. No pearly gates. No line of loved ones lost to welcome you to the great beyond. Instead, I was in front of her. Watching her heart and soul break. So I did the only thing I knew would calm her down. It always works. Especially when she's mad, which happens a lot. I brought my hand up to her cheek, holding her there, feeling the weight press against my open palm. _"I love you always."_ She was silent, if only for a second. But I like to think she heard me, or felt me.

I woke up two days later. My body feeling numb from the painkillers and my throat raw from the tube to keep me breathing. When she saw my eyes fluttering and felt my hand twitching in hers, she cried out again. But this time, instead of hearing her tear in half, it sounded a whole lot like something being put back together. We waited for a nurse to come in and remove the tube, but I needed her to know that I was there. She brought her face close to mine, just to press a lingering kiss to the spot between my eyes. I cradled her face, and this time it was her who whispered it, _"Always."_

I don't dream about dying, or that night really. Sometimes I hear that scream. The one that came from deep inside of her. But she dreams about that night. She sees it happen all over again. She loses me. On those nights, I feel her pull me close to her. She needs to be reminded that I followed her command. I stayed. Before she drifts back to sleep, she always kisses the star shaped scar on my shoulder and whispers, _"Always."_ I feel like those kisses help the scars fade. They dull the memory for her.

I died once. Luckily it didn't last long, but it still happened. I didn't see a blinding white light, no chorus of angels or pearly gates. Not even a line of loved ones lost to greet me. Instead, I was with the person I love most in the world. And I wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
